The day I read the proposal mail, I happened to read the exact portion of the Bible that she had quoted. I was so excited by that very co-incidence. But my dad warned me not to take a convenient verse from the Bible as a sign from God, but to ask God for a difficult sign to prove His will.
I tried to ask God for many signs and all turned out positive, so I felt I was looking out for convenient signs and not difficult ones. Thus I wasn’t convinced. I then became very serious and wanted to test if she was God’s will for me or not. Though it wasn’t an easy task, I had to lay her on the altar and let God decide, whether to give her to me or not.
During this season, I prayed this for more than a 1000 times… “Lord, I don’t want to miss Your will for my life! If she’s not the one for me, please put an end to it. But Lord, you know my heart’s desire!”
I again tried to ask God for a difficult sign and this time was truly a test, I knew it. I told the Lord that I’d be careful listening to every word spoken in Church meetings in the following 6 months and when there’s a mention of the word ‘Marriage’ or anything in this context, if it was in a negative notion, I’ll take it as it’s not His will for me to consider her. If it was God’s will, I need this condition fulfilled three times in a row. But if it was not His will, a single negative notion was enough to conclude it.
To my surprise, there was no mention of the word ‘marriage’, nor was anything spoken in this context in the first 5 months (i.e. June 2015 to November 2015). So, I added another condition to make it even more clear. I told the Lord, if there was no mention of what I’ve asked in the 6th month, I’ll straight away take it as she’s not His will for me.
It was the last month (December 2015), the 1st week went by with no answer. In the second week, while the elder brother was about to conclude his message, he gave a positive notion to marriage. and that was it, I completely forgot what he spoke, but the only thing I could recollect was ‘I got an YES!’. Yet, I still prayed Lord, if she’s not the one you’ve reserved for me, give me a “NO” and I’m ready to take it. In the third week, another elder was speaking, he too before concluding his message gave a positive notion to marriage. I got excited again and couldn’t recall anything he spoke but was taken up with the 2nd ‘YES’. The following week, brother Zac was back in town, so he was speaking that Sunday. He probably while was 10 minutes into his sermon gave a positive notion to marriage. And that was it..! Following that he spoke many profound truths and yet nothing was getting registered, as I now got the long awaited 3 Yes’s. We sang a song at the end of the message and I was bubbling and trying to control myself, but sang the song with all my might.
While I now got my answer from God, yet I got few doubts.
- “Was I not careful in listening the past 5 months, that I missed a ‘NO’?”
- “What if even this was an easy, convenient sign I asked for?”
So I prayed… “Lord, I believe that You answered me with a very clear YES. Yet, if she’s still not Your will for me, please bring this to an end. I don’t want to miss Your will for my life.”
In a few weeks there a youth meeting arranged at Church, while brother Zac was addressing the young brothers and sister Annie was addressing the young sisters separately. It was an interactive Question & Answer session. Brother Zac was down to earth, cracking jokes and answering questions. While answering a question, in passing he mentioned “If you’re attracted to any particular sister for the spiritual qualities you’ve seen in her, there’s nothing wrong in praying this prayer — Lord, if this particular sister is the one you’ve prepared for me, please put an invisible mark on her forehead RESERVED FOR <YOUR NAME>“. That moment, I sincerely prayed that the Lord would place an invisible mark on Jesse’s forehead RESERVED FOR SILAS, if she was the one He has been preparing for me. And if any number of proposals go to her, they shall fail; but when my proposal goes, it shall come to pass.
And that was how the Lord reserved Jesse for me, until it was my time to get married and that’s how I found out God’s will in marriage.